I used to think I had to find the perfect aesthetic—one that reflects my personality and interests. I went through all of them—downtown, clean girl, y2k indie, and even preppy (which if you know me, you’re probably laughing). But after trying plenty of aesthetics, soon enough, I realized that what I was looking for wasn’t the “right aesthetic” (spoiler alert: it doesn’t exist). What I was trying to find was my style.

Don’t get me wrong—playing with different aesthetics was super fun. I’m actually glad I went through all of those phases, because it led me to find my style, which felt amazing. But to be honest, constantly switching between looks really hurt my confidence. I’d look and the mirror and see someone I was trying to be, not someone who was embracing me through how I dress.

Aesthetics go hand in hand with micro-trends because they’re the specific clothing/accessory pieces that come from these different aesthetics (iykyk from my first blog that goes more in depth on micro-trends). This whole process is no help to finding your personal style, especially in high school. Finding your style in high school is hard enough with the peer pressure to lean into trends, but throw social media in the mix and it gets even crazier. Everywhere you turn, there’s a ton of “perfect aesthetics for you” popping up all over Tik Tok and Instagram, making it easy to seem like you need to copy others. Plus, high school is already a time when you’re figuring out who you are, so it’s everyone’s trying on different looks like they’re costumes. With all this pressure, it’s so easy to get caught up trying to be someone else instead of just being yourself.

Wondering how to find your style? Start by checking out your closet and getting rid of pieces that don’t really feel like you. Next, find your favorite pieces and find patterns or similar vibes they all share. Finding a time period or era of clothing that inspires you can also help a lot! For example, I love 90’s and 2000’s fashion. I also recommend identifying the vibe you want to give and how you want people to perceive you—and making note of that (Pro-tip: Pinterest is your best friend for creating moodboards of how you want to dress! Check out mine :). But keep in mind, finding your style also means mixing and matching pieces you love into different outfits for different occasions. Many people get lost here get stuck only dressing one way—like always casual, girly, sporty, or street style—but don’t get trapped in that. Try creating different outfits based on where you’re going and what you’re doing, while making sure you actually love what you’re wearing and that it reflects who you are.

Owning your style is probably the most important part of the whole process. Even if you’re still figuring things out or your outfit isn’t 100% “perfect,” confidence is what can set you apart. When you walk with confidence and take pride and how amazing you look people notice—and it shows that you’re comfortable being yourself because what really matters is what you think, not what they think. I take pride in my outfits, and if someone doesn’t like what I’m wearing, it just means this whole process of finding my style worked—my outfits display my uniqueness. Remember, your style is all about expressing yourself—if you impress others along the way, then that’s a cool bonus! So don’t be afraid to stand out, make mistakes, or change things up. The more you own what you’re wearing and the more you walk like it, the more your style will feel truly yours.